I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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