Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
can u get pink eye on your cock?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
