its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Houston, we have a squirter
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
