everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's rum buckets o'clock
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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