I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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