just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
