dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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