why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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