I wish I could punch you in the face.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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