If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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