we made out on top of his cat.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
