I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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