we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
