She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
