you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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