my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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