nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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