Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
