My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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