Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
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i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
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Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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