I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
