and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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