Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
