I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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