What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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