St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
