i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
