So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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