I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
