i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
