Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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