do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
