What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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