She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
God, I missed his penis.
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