After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
There's always time for handjobs
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
