a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
