I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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