He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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