why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
