I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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