escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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