Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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