So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
