I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
