I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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