All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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