and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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