how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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