they need to just BURY HIM!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
