Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
