I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
