3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Can i not drive my cunt home
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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