I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
