FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
