WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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