Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
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