sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
