So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
