Pants 0. Shit 1.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
