Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize