You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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