Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
