Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
